Friday, July 30, 2010

Ramblings – I Have Nothing

This morning as I was having my quiet time with the Lord, I prayed – as usual – for my health to return. Today starts the sixth week I have been suffering from a bad case of bronchitis, and I have also had laryngitis for 3½ weeks. Besides having a difficult time breathing, coughing until great chunks of green stuff is expelled from my lungs and not being able to speak, being sick for so long has taken its toll on me: I have little energy to do anything, I am weak and easily exhausted, I am beginning to feel cut off from the outside world, and at this point in time I have a severe case of cabin fever. The only good thing is that I have lost 10 pounds… go figure!

I am an optimistic person by nature, and even during this illness I have tended not to focus on the “bad.” But, as one can see from my morning’s meditation, my mind had started to wander into my own pity party. I started to review my life over the past 9 months, which is when I got laid off from my job of 11 years (17 total, if one counts the 6 years I previously worked at the same organization). It seemed like I had had nothing but adversity ever since.

In October 2009, I lost my job and the income that went along with it. I got a nice severance package, and my severance pay lasted about 5 months. When it ran out I filed for unemployment; however, I soon found out that I was not eligible to collect unemployment because I had received too much in severance pay! While I have not yet undertaken a serious search for a new job, I did have two job opportunities come my way. The first one paid a ridiculously low salary: less than half of what I was previously making; and the second job went to someone else because I was too sick to go in for the follow-up interview. Since then, I have not been well enough to look for a new job.

Before I lost my job, I was completely self-sufficient monetarily. The money I made was my money to spend however I chose. My only obligation was to pay my son’s college tuition, which was easy on my salary. I chose to spend the rest of my money on traveling to foreign places, decorating my home, taking friends and family out to eat, and buying books and expensive cameras.

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Today I have $15 in my bank account, and I have to ask my husband for money to do anything, from filling up my gas tank to buying a stick of deodorant or a cup of coffee. Not to mention, he had to pay this semester’s college tuition for our son. I am having to skip the trip to England and Scotland that my sisters are taking in a couple months. I have taken to re-reading the same books I read years ago. Instead of me treating my daughter to dinner, she is buying me lunch at Panera Bread. I don’t even walk into a Home Goods store anymore. And, I have not bought one stick of new clothing this summer.

Since I have no money, I have been practically housebound for months. (I want to use the gas in my car only when absolutely necessary.) In addition, my sickness has had me cooped up in my home for weeks, and I am starting to climb the walls.

So, this morning while I was studying God’s Word, I realized that I have nothing. No job. No money. No healthy body. No energy. No place to go. No good food in the house. That’s when I started to sink into despair. Why, God, have you allowed my life to become like this? Why am I so sick? I can’t even look for a job when I am this ill! Then I read 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

It then hit me. It is the will of God that I have nothing, at least nothing of earthly value. For over the years I had become arrogant, prideful, self-reliant and greedy, prizing money and status and position. Not very godly traits for a woman of God.

God broke through my heart at this moment and I realized what He was doing by bringing these trials into my life. He was revealing my sin to me and transforming me more into the image of Christ:

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. (2 Corinthians 3:17-18)

Christ, who suffered and endured suffering more than I will or could ever suffer, never sinned. Never. Not once.

So, how does this apply to my life today? Being sick has kept me sidelined to my home and forced me to put a hold on looking for a new job. I am learning to be content. I can live quite comfortably without much money. I can enjoy my home with its current contents. It’s amazing how much food is in the cupboards that I didn’t even realize was there. There is much beauty to be found in just sitting outdoors watching the birds and squirrels. Reading a book the second time around is almost like reading it for the first time. Old movies on television are so much better than movies currently in theaters. Dinner at home with my husband and son tastes just as good as in a restaurant. Blogging about my previous exotic travels brings back wonderful memories.

I am learning to trust God more and more. I am learning to find joy and comfort and fulfillment in Him alone. I am learning that humility is a quality to be much desired and sought after. I am learning that I have nothing… without God.

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God’s plan? Absolutely!

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Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
But I love You

With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
And all the strength I can find

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
I have nothing

Take my time here on earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing
I am nothing

I am nothing without You

Thursday, July 29, 2010

After the Storm

The blue sky slowly started turning dark, until there was no sun. Thunder boomed overhead. All of a sudden, the heavens opened up and the rain poured down. The lightening lit up the black sky. Then it was over. The sun came back out the sky turned blue. The birds and butterflies returned. The flowers were thankful for the drink.

The rain poured.

After it was over, the hummingbird returned to gather nectar.

Butterfly in motion.

This tiny butterfly (moth?) was the size of my thumbnail.

Dragonfly

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Requiescat In Pace

On July 9, 2010, Rick Reams, my former brother-in-law (ex-husband of my sister, Jackie) and awesome dad of my nephew, Jackson, and niece, Madison, died unexpectedly of an anuerysm at the age of 58. He was retired from the Army and was working at Fort Hood in Texas at the time of his death. He was buried near his hometown of Cape Girardeau, Mo. He spent many years working at Fort Meade in Maryland, and today Ft. Meade held a Memorial Service for Rick. Here are a few photos I took with my cell phone after the Service was over.

Inside the chapel at Ft. Meade.

After the Memorial Service.

My nephew, Jackson, with the flag he was presented with during the Memorial Service.

My niece, Madison, holding the flag that was presented to her

during the Memorial Service for her dad.

Capt. Knight holding one of the framed plaques commemorating

Rick's service in the U.S. Army that were given to Jackson and Madison.

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Both my nephew, Jackson, and my niece, Madison, each received

a framed plaque memorializing their father's military service to his country.

Capt. Knight talking to Jackson after the Memorial Service.

Jackson and Madison each received several medallions

commemorating their father's service to his country.

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Ricky K. Reams

1/12/1952 - 7/9/2010

Rest in Peace

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Chandra

I just became Facebook friends with Chandrajeet Rathore in India. Chandrajeet, or Chandra as he is more familiarly known, was my group leader for 2½ weeks during the northern portion of my 5-week trip through India in February and March 2006. Chandra, who is Indian, was, for the most part, an excellent guide and loads of fun. He knew so much about the customs and traditions of India, and I learned a lot from him. He was also quite the character; indeed, when I first met him and we were on an early morning quest for Indian rupees, he told me he had two wives and seven children. It wasn't until almost the very end of my time with him that he told me the truth: 1 wives and 2 kids!

At Madhogarh Fort with my sister, Susan

The aftermath of the Holi festival at the king's castle in Bijaipur.

At dinner

Chandra has "shoe watch" at Amber Fort near Jaipur.

One of my most memorable times with Chandra was our camel safari in Pushkar. Below is the tale:

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After traveling through some of the most spectacular areas of India I was on the last leg of my incredible five-week journey through this wonderful country. In Pushkar - camel capital of Asia and home of the famous annual Pushkar Camel Fair - I was going on my very first camel "safari," and this was to be the highlight of my trip.

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It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon when 13 camels arrived at my hotel to pick up their human cargo: me, my traveling companions, and our guide, Chandra. However, my camel-riding excitement quickly turned to apprehension when I saw the monstrous size of those beasts. I decided on the smallest camel, a dark, chocolate brown "cutie" with a colorful pompom through her nose. After a quick show-and-tell lesson on how to get on and get off of a camel, which looked quite terrifying in itself, it was time for me to board this formidable creature.

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On command, Cutie lowered herself onto all fours, with her front legs tucked under her and her backside resting on her knees. Even in this position, her hump, onto which I was to sit, was chest-high. I grabbed onto the saddle - a term I use loosely since it consisted mostly of a heap of blankets secured with a couple straps - and swung my right leg over Cutie's hump. As I attempted to hoist myself onto Cutie, she unexpectedly stood up! First lifting her back side, then her front, I tried desperately to hold on. With only one leg over Cutie and the rest of me clinging onto her side for dear life, I was completely off balance six feet in the air.

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I could hold on no longer. On the way down, I could only say a quick prayer for fear that death by trampling camel hoofs was imminent. I landed on my back, and despite instantaneous intense pain and getting the wind knocked out of me, I attempted to scramble to safety as 13 camel drivers jostled to drag me out from underneath the looming belly of that camel. As I gasped for breath, Chandra, in his sing-song Indian accent, urged me, "Try again. Just like when one falls off a horse, you must get right back on." Well, there was no way I was going to attempt to get on that she-devil again. I resigned myself to ride in the camel cart, an excruciatingly bumpy ride behind a foul-smelling dromedary with a severe case of gas. Meanwhile, Chandra got out the first-aid kit for some pain relief cream. He presented me with calamine lotion, an anti-itch remedy for poison ivy! Lo, there was nothing in that first-aid kit to treat the aches and pains from a camel fall. So I just "grinned and bared it" for the rest of my much-anticipated camel safari.

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The next day, feeling extremely sore but wanting to do some exploring, I set out on a walk through Pushkar. As I swung my daypack over my shoulder, I heard "CRACK" and then felt searing pain in my chest like I had never before experienced. I knew right then that I had broken a rib in my fall off of that dang camel. It was amazing that right at that exact moment I also happened to be standing next to an open door with a sign that read "HOSPITAL." After peering through the open door into what Pushkar calls a "hospital" - another term I use loosely here - I decided that I would put up with the pain and wait until I got back to the United States in 4 days to visit a real hospital.

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(After an overnight train ride from Pushkar to Delhi, two days in Delhi and a 16-hour plane ride back to America, I went immediately to the hospital for an x-ray. It was confirmed: I did have a broken rib. But, that's not the end of the story. Having made it through 5 weeks in India without even a symptom of tummy trouble - unheard of for Westerners - on my second day home I got a severe case of Delhi-Belly and ended up being diagnosed with a wicked E. coli bacterial infection. I am now completely recovered and can laugh at the misfortune that befell me at the end of my trip. However, I would recommend to anyone going to India to stay away from camels; take the bus instead!)

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Chandra and me riding in the camel cart.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

God's Amazing Handiwork

True joy is found in the simple pleasures God gives us every day. The awesome and amazing view of the sky from my back deck this evening around 7:30 pm.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I found this really cool slideshow application on Smilebox (www.smilebox.com). I wanted to see how it worked, so I thought I would put together a little show featuring some photos of me from the 70's. All of the photographs have been scanned from prints (duh! digital cameras weren't around back then!), and some of the prints were messed up. Plus, I didn't do a good job scanning some of the prints. But, I think you'll like the show anyways. If nothing else, you can see how drastically I've changed from 30+ years ago.

Enjoy... !

Free photo slideshow generated with Smilebox

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Taunting Kitty


Every morning, my neighbor's kitty trots over to my property and sits in front of my house. For the next 15 minutes, my two dogs go crazy barking and whining while running from window to window trying to get at the cat. I dare not open the front door while kitty is sitting there, or else kitty may end up a tasty dog treat!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Marriage Celebration of Susie Yeo and Joseph Chow

Today was the wedding of dear friends Joe Chow and Susie Yeo.

I met Joe a few years ago when I started serving in Alpha, a 10-week course on Christianity offered by my church as an evangelistic outreach opportunity. Joe hosted a small group and I was his “helper.” Alpha eventually morphed into Introducing God, and Joe and I continued to serve together. Joe, who, by the way, is from Taiwan, is a true man of God. He loves Jesus and desires to follow his example. He lives his life in obedience to God, and there is much fruit in Joe’s life. Joe is genuinely concerned for the eternal destiny of his fellow man, and God has worked through and used Joe to bring many to salvation. One of the things I love most about Joe is his knowledge of scripture; regardless of the topic or issue, Joe knows exactly which verse of the Bible to go to.

Many years ago – before I knew him – Joe’s first wife left him. (Joe has 3 teenage children: 2 sons and a daughter.) Even though they were separated and subsequently divorced, Joe remained faithful to his wife, continually praying for reconciliation and for restoration of their marriage. After Joe’s first wife remarried a couple years ago, Joe felt God calling him to find a new wife.

Joe met Susie, who is from Malaysia, about a year ago. She lived in Portland, Ore., so they carried on a long-distance relationship. I met Susie last summer when she visited Joe in Maryland. I was instantly taken with her. She is a beautiful woman who also is a very godly woman. She loves the Lord and desires to obey his Word.

In early July, Susie moved herself and her 19-year old son, Justin, to Maryland in preparation for the upcoming wedding. I am so glad that Joe and Susie found love with each other. May God bless their marriage and their lives together.

Scripture Readings

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:9-12)

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. (Colossians 3:12-16)

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

Here are just a few photographs I took of Susie's and Joe's wedding:

Joe, best man Alex (Joe's son) and Pastor Greg Somerville wait for the bride.

Susie's son, Justin, walks her down the aisle.

They're married!

Introducing Mrs. and Mrs. Joseph Chow.

"Kiss"

Beautiful bouquet

What a great looking couple!

So happy!

Me with the bride and groom.

Getting ready for the toast.

Toast!

Believe it or not, Joe made this wedding cake. It is not only beautiful, but it tasted yummy, too!

Cutting the cake.

Shoveling it in!


Instead of throwing rice, wedding guests blew bubbles.

Leaving the church to start their new lives!